We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Today is Thursday and Thursday means Love. Today I'm loving that it's my last day of work and then it's 11 whole days of holidays! WOO! It's been a very long time since I've had a whole week of holidays (that wasn't spent in the hospital), since last Christmas I think. I woke up this morning and thought to myself, I can sleep in for 11 days in a row! WOO-EEE

I'm gonna sleep in, eat lots of yummy food and IMMERSE myself in Christmassyness!!!!

I almost blew away

Oh my freaking goodness! When did the WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS get here? I swear, every year time seems to fly by faster and faster. It hardly seems like December's even started, and then, Oh, Hello Christmas. GO AWAY I'M NOT READY FOR YOU YET!

I am so not ready. I have gifts left to buy, I have baking left to do (although keeping in tune with my getting in shape (ha ha ha) strategy, I don't intend to do much baking.

Also, being stranded in the big city for work last week didn't help much. I did manage to start my Christmas shopping, but I wasted a whole night in an airport hotel (a lovely, posh one, mind you) while i waited for the hurricane to cease.

Unfortunately this delay made me miss the funeral of W.'s aunt, which was quite upsetting for me. I had to go to these meetings for work, so I wasn't able to be there for any of it. Part of me is ok with that, but part of me would liked to have at least been there.

She was a lovely lady, although with her problems like anyone else, and she will be missed.

Failure

So I didn't make my 30 post goal for November, which I guess means I failed in Blog Month. However, it's not really a failure - I posted 24 times in November which is more than I've posted in the whole months before that since I started this blog. So I feel that I've kind of made this little site into a home for me to write and think. I think I like that.

So Ponies carries on...

Last night

My favorite cousin and I met for dinner last night. It'd been a while since just the two of us had been able to get together, just to chat and catch up. Apparently we had a lot to catch up on - we sat there chatting for over four hours! So much had been going on in the last six months for us both, that even though we'd been seeing each other pretty regularly, we hadn't had a chance to just talk.

So that's what I'm loving on this Thursday. My Thursday love is for finally catching up on things I should have been there for all along....

The Moment When I Lost My Mind

I walked out of the gym today and it was snowing. It's still snowing, but that's a bit of a digression. I walked out of the gym today and thought, "Hmmm. It feels a lot warmer out here today."

Did you hear me? IT FEELS A LOT WARMER OUT TODAY. HA HA HA


The temperature today? It's -18 C with a wind-chill factor of -30 C.


Seriously. I'm insane. Take me away, it's time to lock me up. (Can I pick an insane asylum in Mexico? Please?)

Ponies is reading....

So I added some links to my site today. These are some of the sites that I read and enjoy everyday and are all sites that have inspired me to try this myself. I admire these women, their writing and their honesty. I hope one day to be comfortable enough in myself and my writing to be as open and honest as they are.

I'm not sure what the protocol is to linking other peoples blogs or if it's OK that I've just linked them up. If anyone is unhappy that I've linked them and would like me to remove their link, please leave me a comment and I'll remove it ASAP.

The Blahs

I'm reluctant to write about anything too personal on here. I am an intensely private person and there is nothing that makes me more uncomfortable or embarrassed than to have other people know when I am unhappy or stressed or dealing with a problem in my life. I like to present a happy, content front to the world. I like to look strong. I'm not strong. I'm not strong at all.

There are some things going on right now that are making me feel so stressed and so weak on a daily basis. I don't know how to handle it, I don't know what to do and I certainly can't go out and talk to someone about it. I like to keep my life and my problems to myself.

However, this particular problem, one that has reared it's ugly head more than once in the past, is back again. Of course it's W. and back then, it was a upsetting to me, but in the grand scheme of things, not a deal breaker. I guess I should have forced the issue back then.

Even after everything he went through this summer with his health, he's back doing what I'm certain caused the whole problem. I love him too much to leave him now, and he knows it. So instead of quitting for my sake, or for his health's sake, or even for the sake of the family that we hope to have one day, he carries on. With that, comes the lying.

So not only do I have to worry about his health, I can't trust him, I don't believe anything he says and it's a horrible way to live.

It's starting to affect my whole life. I feel sad all the time, I feel stressed all the time, and I don't really know how to fix of it.

I don't think I'm going to make it

I think I have to post five times today. I'm pretty sure that unless I find some pretty prolific inspiration in the next, oh, five minutes or so, I'm probably not going to make the 30 posts this month that I promised myself that I would. I have 11 posts left and 3 days to do it in.

I guess maybe I should have gotten my haircut last week, instead of tomorrow, so that I could spend time writing posts, instead of obsessing over my split ends.

I can't feel my fingers

So there is four days left in November and I have only done 18 posts. That leaves me with 12 more to do. That's 3 per day. Ha Ha Ha Ha.

And now I must go outside in the hateful cold to the hateful gym. Blech. If I hadn't eaten chocolate chip coffee cake for breakfast, I would likely skip it so as to not have to venture outside into the MINUS FREAKING 28 WITH THE WIND CHILL cold cold cold cold cold. Hate Hate Hate Hate. Did I mention the hate? and the wind? and the cold? Oh, and the cold?

Hey! It's Thursday...

And we all know that Thursday is for love. So today my love is for Christmas! There is nothing that makes me happier than when Christmas rolls around. Oh, I know it's stressful with all the rushing and the people and the buying and everything. But it just all seems to go away when I see a Christmas Tree, or some Christmas lights, or even hear a Christmas song.

It's an automatic smile on my face when I drive by a house that someone has lit up and decorated. I love wandering through the aisles of Christmas decorations, and it's ALL I can do to wait until December to dress my house in all it's Christmassy glory.

I must admit, this year I didn't make it :) I've had lights up outside since the beginning of the month, and the decorations inside are going up THIS WEEKEND! WOO! I'll wait for my tree for a couple more weeks though... I always have a real tree, the artificial ones just aren't the same.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!

Woe is Me and Stupid Boy

I'm having a hard time concentrating on anything today. I had hockey out of town last night and didn't climb into bed until after midnight. I knew I wasn't going to sleep anyways, but W.'s trip from hell to work last night didn't help any. Poor guy was stuck on the highway for almost 5 hours because of an accident in front of him, and because the road crews couldn't get it together to get some gravel down, or the snow plowed or anything. So, once he got out of there and was kind of able to turn around, rather than driving back and going the other way, he decided to take some old logging roads and hope that he came out at work. So it's the middle of the night, his cell phone is dead and he's driving around the snowy bush in his CAR. I was worried to say the least. He didn't make it to work until almost 2 am. That's when I finally go to relax and go to sleep. And that made getting up at 6:30 am pretty darn hard. I've been head achy and tired all day, and there's more hockey watching tonight, so I don't even get to don the comfy pants and hop in the recliner for the evening. Poor Me.

Back in the day

I used to be a writer. Not really a published writer for the most part, but a rather prolific writer. I used to be good at it. I filled books and binders with my stories. Most of them were made up or my teenage wishful thinking of all the fun and exciting things that should be happening to me and weren't.

I don't write anymore. I don't know what happened to it. I've had about 5 years of serious writers block. Every Christmas I enter in a Christmas Story Contest in the local newspaper, and I've done well a few times. But that's it. That's all the writing that I do anymore and I miss it.

I used to have ongoing sagas in my mind about made up people. They were my escape more than TV or movies. I made my own, and I could lose myself in them. I didn't realize it back then, but those were the novels I should have been writing. Those stories aren't there anymore.

I guess that's what I'm trying to do here. I'm trying to get that back. I want to write again.

"Tis the Season to be Jolly...

Fa La La La La, La La La La....

Is Christmas really only a month and a bit away? It's hard to believe it's coming around already. I mean, I know it's coming, and I've even done some Christmassy things. I've bought a few gifts, done a little decorating, gone out to some Christmassy events. But really, I think, if I counted right, it's only 33 days away!

Of that 33 days I have 12 days that I have hockey, 10 days that W. has hockey, 7 days where we have to go watch hockey. Obviously, some of those all fall on the same day, but seriously, 27 hockey games in the next 33 days? WHEN AM I GOING TO GET READY FOR CHRISTMAS???? No really, when?

I have 14 people still left to buy Christmas gifts for, a Christmas movie night to plan, baking to do, decorating to get done, Christmas trees to cut down. Not to mention that we still haven't finished unpacking the new house.

Woo-ee, December is going be one fun month. Good thing I just made a new batch of wine. I think I'm going to need it.

I wish I was there

Today I'm missing my horses. I was just looking at the pictures I have of them all around my computer and wishing that I was out there with them instead of in here. I love them at this time of year when they are all furry and fat. There's nothing more soothing in this world than when you stand in the crisp almost-winter air, with four horses breathing their sweet, hay scented breath at you. This is when they are best, when their funny personalities show, and they jostle around and beg for your attention.

Our four are so distinct too. The old chestnut mare, reserved and a bit standoffish, but she won't let you forget to give her some special attention too. Then there's our pushy little girl. In your face, graceful and beautiful... just like a teenager - look at me! Look at me! She should be at the awkward yearling stage, but this one hasn't had an awkward moment in her life. And our sweet, low man in the herd gelding. He's big and furry and just wants you to love him. He's just like a big teddy bear. Last and best, my big black, bossy man. He's never had a moment in his life where he hasn't known he was best. He's a star and I think he knows it. He has his sweet side too, when he snuffles your hair and put his head on your shoulder.

You never have these moments when you're focused on working and getting ready for showing. That's when they are all glossy and shiny and perfect and you're proud of their talent and their abilities and how hard they work for you.

But now, now is the time you love them just for being horses.

Goin' home stupid

So just before lunch today I rubbed my eye. Then I headed out to my car, with the good intentions of going to the gym (remember get healthy month... it's going well thus far). Anyways, my eye felt kind of weird, so I thought to myself, I will put some drops in it once i get to the car. So I hop in, pull down the mirror and stare. The inside corner of my left eye is bright freaking red. I don't know what I did, but now it feels weird, and hurts a little, and it looks TERRIBLE. So I headed off and made an appointment at the walk in clinic to make sure I haven't permanently damaged myself. I am now sitting at my desk, eating my lunch and wearing my sunglasses.

So yeah, I should be going home stupid today.....

Woes

So this being a homeowner business is darn hard on the bank account. Ouchie, says my bank account. W. is not going to be very happy when we don't get to do ANYTHING for the whole rest of the winter because of the distinct lack of money. We really need to get rid of some bills so that we can at least have a bit of extra spending money. After Christmas, we'll be doing some serious bill-paying-off. There won't be choice in THAT matter, that's for sure. I'm going to be getting rid of at least two bills right quick. Even if it means being completely broke for a few months. That'll be an extra 300.00 in our bank accounts every month, that can go right back on some other bills.

Oh, I hate money. Hate it hate it hate it. We make a good living between us, we just need to get that pesky spending under control. I really want to do some horse shows this year and hit OKC in October. Then I guess it might be baby time. Ack. But if we're going to do it, I guess we have to do it soon. We're getting old....

Is it too early for a glass of wine?

Sorry! Goal! Road Trip!

So I realize that I've completely screwed up this post a day business, so rather than coming on here every second or third day to apologize to myself (because who are we kidding here, there are no readers), I'm just going to make my goal 30 posts for November. That way when the weekends get away from me, I can just do two posts during the week. Ok, that's out of the way now.

So I scored my first goal in two years on Sunday! Yay for me! It was a nice one too. A pass, which I actually got on my stick and kept it there, and the shot! It didn't come off the ice, but it beat the goalie on the glove side low, hit the inside of the post, and was actually hard enough to spin around the net and hit the other post before it came out. A real shot! A real goal! I was pretty excited. Unfortunately the scorekeepers screwed up and gave it to a player who wasn't even playing that day, but that's ok. I know it was mine.

I also got invited to go to Seattle for an exhibition series. I'm a little scared about going. I'll be the most beginning player there, and I wasn't in the first round of invites, but I was invited, which means I must be fun enough, and a decent enough player to rate. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up on the "Fun" part of the weekend, I'll be the shy girl in the corner as usual.

I know on the hockey end of things, if I work hard and don't wimp out, I'll do ok.

Have you ever....

I borrowed this from Kiwords (This is the first time I've tried to link to another blog... I can't make it work, I'm sorry...)

All of the things that I have done... I hope that I am kind of interesting...

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain.
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone.
08. Said “I love you and meant it!
09. Hugged a tree. In Mexico... it was a magical tree of some sort
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game I saw the Blazers win the Memorial Cup at home!!!
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables.
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon.
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Drunk champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster I rode my first roller coaster this year in Las Vegas. It scared the life out of me.
35. Scored a winning goal
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day How about a whole new personality - name and everything - for a night. It does help if you let all your friends know that a couple of you are doing this, but hey...
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment I feel very happy about my life most of the time...
39. Visited all 5 continents
40. Taken care of someone who was drunk
41. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
42. Watched wild whales
43. Stolen a sign
44. Backpacked
45. Taken a road-trip
46. Gone rock climbing
48. Midnight walk on the beach
49. Gone sky diving
50. Taken a train through Europe
51. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love.
52. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table, and had a meal with them
53. Milked a cow
54. Alphabetized your CDs
55. Sung karaoke
56. Lounged around in bed all day.
57. Gone scuba diving
58. Kissed in the rain
59. Gone to a drive-in theatre
60. Started a business
61. Taken a martial arts class
62. Been in a movie
63. Crashed a party
Edited!! 64. Gone without food for 5 days When I was little, I had a bad bout with appendicits/peritonitis and I didn't eat for over a week. I think I almost died.
65. Gotten a tattoo
66. Got flowers for no reason
67. Performed on stage
68. Been to Las Vegas
69. Recorded music
70. Eaten shark
71. Buried one/both of your parents.
72. Been on a cruise ship
73. Spoken more than one language fluently
74. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
75. Walked a famous bridge. I've walked the real London Bridge
76. Had plastic surgery - Does it count if it's on your toe?
77. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.
78. Wrote articles for a large publication
77. Tried to lose weight seriously.
79. Piloted an airplane
80. Petted a stingray
81. Broken someone’s heart
82. Broken a bone I actually haven't broken a bone, but I have a few hairline fractures... Apprently riding horses and rollerblading are not safe activities...
83. Eaten sushi Unfortunately
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Parasailed
86. Skipped all your school reunions
87. Shaved your head
88. Caused a car accident
89. Pretended to be “sick”
90. Swam in the Pacific Ocean
91. Saved someone’s life.
92. Fainted so many times I can't even count them all
93. Been in the room while someone is giving birth
94. Hitchhiked
95. Adopted a child.
96. Been caught daydreaming
97. Been to the Painted Desert
98. Called off a wedding engagement
99. Donated your blood.
100. Become a follower of Jesus Christ

So, it looks like I might be just a little bit interesting after all

Let's call today Wednesday

So it looks like we have a new kitten. I don't think we're going to call her Mittens anymore though. It's too close to one of the big guys nicknames and I don't want to steal it from him. Yes, I'm having cat guilt. I feel bad for him. He's been the one and only for so long and now there's going to be competition. I hope that I can transition the new kitten into the house with a minimum of stress on him. It's going to be hard, but I guess I'm going to start tonight. We haven't even had one call or anything about the poor little girl. I don't know what else I can do. Someone is missing their kitten.

On a different note... last night was a super fantabulous whooping of a hockey game. It's been years since we've seen a game like that. My hands hurt from the clapping and my voice was croaky from all the cheering. Just like the old days. Many goals, fights, crazy opposing players. It was awsome. It's a good time to be a fan again :)

Bet you thought I wasn't coming back...

But here I am!!!

No luck on finding Miss Mittens' home yet. I toured her around to a couple of vet clinics at lunch time and she doesn't have a chip or a tattoo, and no one has recognized her yet. I called the radio stations and put ads in the paper, and I'm making a poster, so maybe I will find her people yet.

I would be so sad if it was my kitty who was missing and the people who found her didn't make the most effort to get him home to me. I feel a little teary just thinking about it.

She's really sweet, and if it comes down to it, I wouldn't mind keeping her, but I'm worried about how it will affect the big guy. He's pretty sensitive and I don't want him to think that we don't love him anymore.

Wish me luck! Hopefully we can find Miss Mittens' way home!!!

So I'm A Liar (plus! New Kitten!)

A big fat liar. I didn't even get two extra posts done yesterday, so I'm retracting what I said. The first post (yeah, the one that didn't count?), it counts now. So that was Saturday. The next one, that was Sunday.* This one here - this is Monday. Later will come Tuesday and we'll be all back to good.

So we have an adopt-a-kitten living in our garage right now. I want to keep her forever and ever and she can be mine and I will love her. I've named her Mittens and she is adorable!!! However, she is stressing out the big guy and she's not even been in the house yet. I keep telling him that I love him best, but I don't think he beleives me.

She's so cute though. She's little and black and white and has four white socks. She's very sweet and friendly and wants to sit in your lap and climb on you and rub on you. I'm trying very hard to find her owner, because she is obviously well loved, but I'm afraid that she was lost (or dumped) from a travelling vehicle. I'm taking her to the vet at lunch to see if she has a chip, in case she's from far away. I want to find her home, because I know if it was me, I would be devatstated to lose my kitty, but at the same time, in the back of my mind, I want to keep her.

*Shush. I know it's called "Hi, It's Saturday" but whatever. It works for me.

Hi, It`s Saturday!!!!

So November, for me, is going to be `Get in Shape` month for me. I know. How boring, you`re thinking. But I need to write it down so that I actually pay attention to myself and get a move on. Literally.

Sunday is the big start day. I don`t know why it`s so hard to start something like this mid-week, but it is. So Sunday`s the big day. I have a hockey game, so that`ll get me out of the house and doing some exercise.

Monday, I`ll do a big grocery shop for lots of healthy veggies and fruit, and make myself stop eating things like tacos and chicken nuggets. Blech. Also, back to the gym, and getting myself and W. out walking in the evening.

It all starts Sunday. So wish me luck. I don`t want to look like a big fat blob in the Christmas pictures....

Um, Ooops

I forgot. I forgot all about this darn site all weekend. I didn`t update on Saturday or Sunday and I am slapping my own hand for it.

Today, I will post three times to make up for my horrible lack of weekend posting. This post, my grovelling, so sorry, I am a forgetful moron post, doesn`t count.

SNOW!

It snowed yesterday!!! The first snow of the year... my favorite. It started in the morning around 11 and carried on all day until dinner time.

Unfortunately, it appears as if the snow has brought along his not so pretty friend. Sick. I knew it was coming, and today it's here. My head aches and I can't breathe. Coughing, sore throat, sniffling... yuck. Sick sucks.

I've been here less than an hour and I'm already considering going home.

Right now....

There is a cowboy out my window.

You might this that I'm making this up. But it's true.




It's also true that I kept typing winder instead of window. Welcome to hillbilly land.

Jumping...

...on the Love Thursday bandwagon.

Love this week for me is finally (Finally!) moving into our very first home. It's brand spanking new and beautiful. I get that warm, shivery feeling every time I drive up the driveway and walk through the front door.

Ours! It's all ours and I love it!!!

Eeek!

I've not been brave enough to put this not so spectacular excuse for a blog out there for the world to see yet. However, I think that the NaBloPoMo is an awesome idea for someone like me. Someone not so good at posting daily, or even monthly for that matter. So I'm joining in, without joining in. I'm not putting myself out there on the official list, but I'm going to do my very best to blog once a day.

So, Hi! Welcome to If Wishes Were Ponies.... I hope that you can find something in my writing to entertain you a little bit and maybe keep you coming back.

Or, at the very least, keep you from screaming in terror and running as fast as you can in the other direction.

Owie

I'm getting old. Every day I have a new ache or a new pain, and what a pain that is. Ha Ha.

Seriously, today my list of complaints sits at:
1 sore neck
1 headache (could be caused by either the sore neck or the 50 gazillion things I have on my desk today)
1 sore rib/ab muscle
1 sore lower back (darn pesky slipped disk)
1 sorish knee

Oh, and also. Shrinking. I'm shrinking at 30 years old.

Now, maybe some of these can be contributed to the nasty smacking I got in hockey on Monday night. (No ones fault, unless skating with your head down in hockey is a no-no. Oh, it is? Huh, learn something new every day).

Anyways, I'm pretty sure the sore neck/knee/ab-rib thing is hockey's fault. But the others, the slipped disk and the sore neck and the shrinking. The pesky, pesky shrinking. Soley the fault of being old, decrepit, and crooked. (Did I say old? Yes. Old.)

Cold!

I think that Fall is here. I know! I know... September 22 or whatever, but up until this weekend, it's kind of felt like Summer was really never going to end.

But, it finally did and it was perfect.

The air was crisp and cold, with that hint of wood smoke. The leaves were at the perfect stage, most of them still on the trees, but enough on the ground to make a wonderful yellow blanket on the trail. We were bundled up in our fleece and down and gloves and it was wonderful.

We rode for a couple hours. The horses were frisky, and you could see their breath puffing out in front of them. Never an ear dropped - it was cool enough and there was enough of a breeze that they were looking, looking, looking the whole time.

And the wine, oh, the wine. What better way to spend a day than riding a group of gorgeous horses and ending up at a winery for a tasting, and of course a buying, and then riding back home for a yummy fall dinner.

It just doesn't get better than this.

Goon

Interference. #18 Green.

That's me! A penalty in my first game of the season. I have only gotten one other penalty in my whole hockey career. (Shush out there! Three years does make a career.) That penalty wasn't even me. I didn't do it, officer, wasn't me :)

This one was most certainly was though. And I didn't really even feel that bad.

For the first game of the season, I felt really good. I won a good majority of my face-offs, I had numerous shots on goal, my legs felt good. No goals, no points, but the potential might be there....

(Gets up in the face of anonymous internet reader)... What? You don't think so? Wanna make something of it? Huh? Huh? Come on... (Throws stick and gloves on the ice) Let's go....

(Whistle blows) Roughing. #18 Green.

That's me. Goon.

Catching my breath

It was all I could do this morning to drag my sorry butt out of bed. While I stood in the shower, I thought "whew, last day this week - tomorrow I can sleep in". I drank an extra cup of coffee to get me going.

I'm out of energy. Usually Fall is the time of year where I recharge and relax. This year, it doesn't seem to be that way. The combination of W.'s operation and subsequent recovery, the new house and all the stress that comes with that, and pure freaking insanity at work, the recharge hasn't come yet. I think in part it's that I didn't get the usual breaks over the summer.

Only one horse show, no vacations. It makes it really hard. The only time I took off work, was spent in the hospital with W. I'm so glad I could be there with him, but relaxing and rejuvenating, it wasn't. I haven't been to the gym in a month. I've been riding 4 times in that month. Thank god hockey has started and I'll get in some scheduled exercise.

It doesn't look like that rest is coming for a while yet. We (and here I mean, I) are in the throes of getting this house business all together. It's calling lawyers, real estate agents, insurance companies, mortgage brokers. It's shopping for furniture (fun right? ha!) which is stress in itself. Green or Brown? Matching set, or different patterns? Bedroom set, or just bed and night tables. It's just keeping our apartment tidy and the dishes done. I'm doing this all on top of trying to keep it together in a really stressful and busy time of year at work.

Rainy Days

It's raining today. It's one of those grey, bleary, cool, windy days that makes me feel like curling up inside with a book and a fleecy blanket in a chair by the window. I like to watch the rain. I like the smell and I like the gloomyness. Sometimes, when it's sunny here for weeks or months on end, I wish that it would cloud over and rain. And when it finally does, I'm so disappointed when it ends. I find myself hoping that it goes on and on. There's something about rain that makes me feel happy.

Now I'm not saying that I don't enjoy a good blue sky, sunny, warm day as much as anyone else. It's just that once in a while, a good rain is what we all need.

One tired pony

I almost called in tired today. I had so intended to go to bed at a decent time last night, but as usual, it was after 11:30 pm when I finally climbed into bed, and after midnight when I finally put my book down. The rest of the night went a little something like this:

12:31 am - I'm cold. Pull the blankets up a little more

1:36 am - Still cold, still awake. Glare at W and the cat who are both sound asleep

2:15 am - Status check - Awake. Look at the clock and groan. Only 4 more hours until the alarm goes off. At least it's still dark out.

3:09 am - The cat is playing in the bathroom.

3:59 am - Stuff my head under the pillow and swear not to look at the clock anymore.

4:16 am - Oops. Looked at it again

4:20 am - And again.

4:32 am - For goodness sakes! Stop looking at the clock!!

5:something am - ZZZzzzzzz... Finally!

5:55 am - W gets up for medicine. GRRRRRRRR. Think about smothering someone with my pillow. Consider self as good option. Might get some sleep that way.

6:35 am - Dammit - there's the alarm. Hit snooze. Fall asleep immedidately.

6:44 am - What's that! Oh, alarm again. Snooze. Back to sleep.

6:53 am - Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Trying to get some sleep here.

7:02 am - Hey alarm clock? Trying to get some sleep here. Stop waking me up.

7:11 am - PANIC!!!!! Supposed to be at work in 20 minutes!!!!!

Hello Coffee... you are my new bestest friend.

Charmed... not so much

I can't wrap my mind around things, focus, concentrate. I'm feeling scattered. I need a vacation. A week on a sunny beach. A week with blue sky and bluer water and something cold and slushy in hand.

Ahhh, just the thought makes my shoulders relax and my mind clear, just a little, for just a moment. But it's there.

The fun is not for us this year. The world is swirling with all the trips and shows and excitement, and we can't be part of any of it. We've had our share in the past but it just feels like we're due. Can't it just be our turn again?

Where did all that luck go... I could use some about now.

Caution: Sucky Week Ahead

So it's finally here. The week where W. goes into the hospital to have part of his lung removed. It's still kind of surreal - almost so that I find it hard to really believe that it's happening.

I'm somewhat of mixed emotions on this whole process. Obviously I'm worried out of my mind about the whole cancer/surgery/hospital part of it. That part of me is sympathetic and concerned and worried. But this other crazy part of me is almost resentful. Isn't he supposed to be the strong one, the healthy one?

I hate the whole business and I can't wait for it to be over so we can go back to our normal lives. I'm not good with being the care-taker, the nurturer. It goes against all my instincts and it makes me uncomfortable. It's really hard for me to deal with this.

If this was a real fire, you'd be dead by now!

So we're sitting there after work, drinking a lovely, cold glass of wine (oh, how I love you wine....) when all of a sudden the fire alarm goes off. So we sit there for a minute, have another sip or two and look at each other. I ponder outloud, "I wonder if that's our fire alarm from the heat or if it's the building alarm?". Off the couch we get, W. checks the fire alarm, while I check the hallway (quick note: I did remember to touch the door to see if it was hot before I opened it - points for me!!! Yay!). Sure enough, it was the building alarm.

We jump into action, "Where's the cat?" I yell as I'm digging through the junk drawer looking for his (small dog size) harness. W. runs into the bedroom where the cat is hiding under the bed. First sign of strange noise, he immediately runs under the bed. I try and grab him from one side and he slithers away from me. W. tries from the other, succeeds for a minute, but the cat slithers out of his grip too and runs for the living room.

"Shut the door so he can't get back in there!", as I dash to the living room. The cat's hiding behind the chair. Then he makes the mad dash behind the couch. Finally I get him cornered behind the entertainment stand. I'm a little stressed by now and my hands are shaking, so I'm having a bit of trouble getting the harness done up, the fur keeps getting stuck and I can't get it done up.

"If this was a real fire, you'd be dead by now!" W. yells from the other side of the TV. Thanks, that's really lowering my stress level.

Finally, I get the harness on the cat and we head out the door. "Grab my purse and the keys". Why we need keys to get back into the building which may burn down, I don't know. Not to mention the fact that we didn't even lock the door.

We get into the hallway, and the cat freaks out from the louder noise. He's so scared that he has a little accident as we're walking down the stairs. Poor guy :(

Finally we get outside and onto the grass across from the building. We sit down and the cat lays there and moans his sad, pitiful little moans. Then the firetrucks pull up. And the fun starts anew. He leaps around a bit, tries to get off his harness and we end up at the bottom of the hill sitting on our neighbours back porch. The cat finally made himself comfy under my legs and we sat there waiting for the firemen to give the all clear.

By this point we figured that it wasn't anything real serious, as half the firemen stayed in the trucks and only a couple went inside. We sat there thinking of all the things inside that maybe we should have grabbed, like the wedding pictures and a few other things.

Then suddenly I remember my wine! "What if the firemen drink my wine????"

Once we got the all clear and got the cat back in the house, that was the first thing I checked. And no, the firemen didn't drink my wine. Thank goodness.

OMG Sucktastical blogging ahead!

Hey y'all.... here's a mix-mash ramble of a blog for the entertainment of no-one! Just me! I'm writing here to entertain myself and wooooo-baby is it ever fun!

Let talk about the Protron-Neutron-Electron dance! Do the Neutron dance. Anyone remember that song? Is it really a song? Who knows, somewhere from in the back of my brain which holds waaaay too much useless trivia bounced out this song yesterday. From there we took it just a few steps farther than necessary and made up some dances. Yep, two 30 year old grown adults doing the Proton-Neutron-Electron dances, which mostly consist of arm waving and wierd facial expressions.

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That was exciting. Wanna talk about the cat now? Come on, you know you want to! What's a good blog without some cat talk. The cat in question, we'll call him Mr. B. is a big fat black monster of a cat. He's a chicken walking around in fur though. Such a scaredy cat, but anyways. I guess that's all I have to say about the cat now. Again, super-sucktastical.

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What??? You're still here??? A sucker for punishment you are. I used to be a good writer and I used to be funny, but now.... well, this what you get. Obviously I need more practice, so I'm making it my goal, no, my MISSION, to make this website a little more fun, a little more fantastical and a little more current.

Shall we see how I do?

Goodbye Little Buddy

Tucker: January 1995 - July 25, 2006


We're going to miss you Tucker-Bob (Robert, Little Dude, Mr. T)....It's hard to believe you're gone.
I Love You

You know what those are?

So my husband and I are out for a walk last night (once a week or so I manage to get him away from the TV and into the fresh air) and he mentions that maybe he should go see the eye doctor. We get talking about this and agree that probably both of us need to go to the eye doctor. I, myself, have an irrational fear of the eye doctor that rivals my hatred of going to the dentist, but that's a whole 'nother story there....

Anyways, we're talking about our parents and how they all wear reading glasses and probably we will too one of these days and he says "Sometimes, I see spots in my eyes. Especially at night when I'm working".

Without missing a beat, I say "You know what those are? Those are dead people."

And here is why he is my very favorite. Rather than rolling his eyes at me because I'm spouting nonsense yet again, he says "Who told you that?", like it wasn't me making up something totally absurd and ridiculous - someone else must have told me that. Because I never make up random craziness... Not me, never. Hee....

What's that? Busy... Oh yes

Apparently I suck at this posting business, but the busy, it reigns! It's one thing after another these days. Get up, go to work, go to the gym, back to work some more. Then there's the making dinner and the walking and the cleaning and the laundry and the riding and the hockey. The hockey is like an addiction these days. If it's not the NHL (Woo Oilers!) it's the Memorial cup and whatever else in between we can find. A constant non-stop hockey fest! But after tomorrow that should slow down and oooh, then the riding ramps back up for the weekend! A whole weekend of lessons and horses and wine. YAY!

100 Things about Ponies

It's the 100 Things post!!!!!!! Ok, so I'm not very original.... I'm new at this - let me be a lame-o copy cat, just for a little while, please?

1. Horses. LOVE THEM.
2. I have one. He's beautiful and black.
3. I have a cat.
4. He's beautiful and black too.
5. He weighs almost 20 lbs.
6. And he's the definition of scaredy-cat
7. I wish I had more.
8. But my husband is allergic
9. That won't stop me from always having at least one cat
10. I have no kids
11. But I love my pets like they are my kids.
12. A couple years ago one of my horses died tragically
13. I grieved for him like he was human
14. I'm still not over it.
15. I cry for him almost daily
16. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a person I love
17. The thought of that scares me so much it keeps me awake at night
18. I have insomnia
19. I rarely sleep more than 6 hours in a night.
20. It takes me hours to fall asleep most nights
21. I've been married for 2 years
22. My husband and I dated for 4 years before we got engaged
23. We lived together for 2 months before we got married
23. It was his idea to get married
24. Honestly, the thought never occurred to me before he asked
25. I think saying yes was a good thing
26. My wedding was one of the best days of my life.
27. It was perfect
28. My husband works graveyard shifts
29. This means I sleep alone 5 nights out of 7
30. I'm kind of ok with that
31. I read at least 5 books a week
32. I feel panicked when I don't have a book to read
33. I love to travel
34. I've been to quite a few different places
35. England
36. Scotland
37. Wales
38. Ottawa
37. Los Angeles
38. San Diego
39. San Francisco
40. Cancun, Mexico
41. Oklahoma City
42. I've had lay-overs in at least 15 different airports in North America
43. By next Tuesday I'll have added 2 more to the list
44. I have to have the window seat or I get claustrophobic
45. Hockey is my favorite sport
46. I have season tickets to my hometown team
47. I don't cheer for any of the NHL teams based in my home province
48. I started playing hockey when I was 28 years old
49. I think I'm pretty good considering my late start
50. My coach agrees - my husband is starting to
51. I LOVE playing hockey
52. I hate going to the gym
53. But I spend every lunch hour there
54. I still am not in as good of shape as I would like to be
55. Even though I'm probably in the best shape I've ever been in
56. I'm scared of spiders
57. I'm PHOBIC about snakes
58. I`ve been to Las Vegas too
59. I won $150.00
60. I`m dying for a holiday
61. Doesn`t look like I`m going to get one for a while
62. I`m the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family
63. This means I got to do everything first.
64. Except get married
65. I let one of my cousins do that first
66. I never wear a watch
67. This means that i`m not often on time
68. I don`t really worry about that too much when it`s my own fault
69. It bugs me when someone else makes me late though
70. I don`t like being rushed
71. I like to think that I`m a pretty relaxed person
72. I suspect that`s not very true
73. I like things to go my way
74. I will argue with you until you agree with me
75. Even if I might be wrong
76. I think I have kind of a photographic memory
77. I can read something once and remember it for a long time
78. I`m good at guessing too
79. This makes me pretty good at playing along with Jeopardy
80. I loooooove reality tv
81. I never used to be much of a tv watcher
82. Now I have a number of shows that I can`t miss
83. That`s why I had to learn how to make the VCR work
84. For the sake of having something to call him on here, I`m going to name my husband W.
85. His name does not start with a W.
86. We have a new house!!!!
87. I love it love it love it
88. I do not feel like an adult at all
89. Drinking wine is good
90. Once in a while I wonder if I drink too much wine
91. I don`t
92. I`m very shy
93. I feel like an idiot just about every time I open my mouth
94. I don`t make friends very easily
95. I`m trying though
96. I hate talking on the phone
97. I am a crazy person when it comes to Christmas
98. There is nothing that makes me happier than seeing a Christmas Tree
99. I get annoyed very easily
100. I wish I was a writer.

Just checking.....

Hi! Welcome to my first ever post. Just checking to see if this works and how things look.