Charmed... not so much

I can't wrap my mind around things, focus, concentrate. I'm feeling scattered. I need a vacation. A week on a sunny beach. A week with blue sky and bluer water and something cold and slushy in hand.

Ahhh, just the thought makes my shoulders relax and my mind clear, just a little, for just a moment. But it's there.

The fun is not for us this year. The world is swirling with all the trips and shows and excitement, and we can't be part of any of it. We've had our share in the past but it just feels like we're due. Can't it just be our turn again?

Where did all that luck go... I could use some about now.

Caution: Sucky Week Ahead

So it's finally here. The week where W. goes into the hospital to have part of his lung removed. It's still kind of surreal - almost so that I find it hard to really believe that it's happening.

I'm somewhat of mixed emotions on this whole process. Obviously I'm worried out of my mind about the whole cancer/surgery/hospital part of it. That part of me is sympathetic and concerned and worried. But this other crazy part of me is almost resentful. Isn't he supposed to be the strong one, the healthy one?

I hate the whole business and I can't wait for it to be over so we can go back to our normal lives. I'm not good with being the care-taker, the nurturer. It goes against all my instincts and it makes me uncomfortable. It's really hard for me to deal with this.

What's that? Busy... Oh yes

Apparently I suck at this posting business, but the busy, it reigns! It's one thing after another these days. Get up, go to work, go to the gym, back to work some more. Then there's the making dinner and the walking and the cleaning and the laundry and the riding and the hockey. The hockey is like an addiction these days. If it's not the NHL (Woo Oilers!) it's the Memorial cup and whatever else in between we can find. A constant non-stop hockey fest! But after tomorrow that should slow down and oooh, then the riding ramps back up for the weekend! A whole weekend of lessons and horses and wine. YAY!