Blue...

The weather is grey and wet. The fog is laying low over everything this morning and the air has that damp cold feeling that makes it impossible to warm up.

Work is overwhelming. I'm working late most days, it's a non-stop rush to get close to anything finished. I'm stressed.

Even home feels stressful right now. W. wants to go play hockey all weekend this weekend, he wants to go to Vancouver to a hockey game and he wants to go to a tournament in a couple weeks. I hate always saying no, but when he goes places it's hard on me. I try to be trusting, but I can't. I just can't. Also, our home finances suck right now. They really do. There is nothing extra and I know that if he goes to Vancouver, it's a $500 weekend. At least.

Also, it's my birthday and I can't help but feeling unimportant and abandoned if he goes. Like I don't matter.

And one more thing. We're having his relative show up this weekend to say for a while and he's dropping that on me too.

I think I'm depressed. I'm ready for winter to be over. I'm ready for the sun to come out.

Random

* My hands smell like cigarette smoke. I don't smoke, nor have I been near any smokers today. So why do my hands smell like that?

** The in-laws are coming over to our new house for only the 2nd (and a bit) time ever. We've lived there for 3 full months now. I wish that they were more comfortable coming by so that it doesn't have to be such a big deal. We had to do a cleaning blitz last night, and I also feel compelled to try and get them to stay for dinner.

*** I want to go riding. I want to go riding so badly that I'm avoiding my horse unless I can actually get on him. I don't want the craving to get any worse.

**** I think I'm ready for Spring now. Winter has been nice this year, snowy and pretty and wintry, but I'm ready for Spring. I feel excited for the year ahead.

***** My massage therapist has not called me back to rebook the appointment I called about first thing yesterday morning.

****** My sister bought her first apartment yesterday!!! WOOO-EEEEE!

*******I always have to come back to spell check....

Now more 2006... will it ever end?

2006 was one of those years that you're glad is over, but at the same time so many things happened that you don't really want to remember, but you don't really want to forget either so I'm kind of going to do a year in review sort of thingy. Here goes....

JANUARY

Hockey, Hockey, Hockey and more hockey! The Lightning had a blast at tournament even though it ended with me and a horrible sinus infection, and the start of W.'s lung thing. Alos, I think that was the month where W. lost his Grandma and a favorite cousin all in one week. It was a great month and a horrible month all in one. Dad and Grandma both had birthdays.

FEBRUARY

I turned the big 30 with a great birthday party planned for me by my fave cousin! Played a lot more hockey and tried to get over that nasty infection.

MARCH

I got to play in the Masters tournament! Fun, fun, fun. We only won one game but we had a good time. W. had his work hockey tournament and we BOUGHT OUR HOUSE!!!! It was still just a hole in the ground, but it was our hole in the ground! A stressful couple of days and some quick decisions but so exciting! Went to the CMHA convention in Edmonton - a fun ladies road trip and a very horsey weekend.

APRIL

April was Grandpa's birthday party and that's about it. I think that we just watched the house grow and started riding.

MAY

VEGAS BABY! W. and I headed for Las Vegas for the first time with his hockey team. We had a blast! It was our only holiday of the year and we made the most of it. May was also Mom's birthday.

JUNE

June brought our annual Ladies Clinic - riding, friends, food and wine! A great time for all. June was also W.'s 30th Birthday. We had a big party for him in his parents backyard and he played some ball that weekend too.

JULY

This was the month where W's lung problems escalated. We spent some time in a few different hospitals for tests. We also managed to get in a nice weekend of camping, just the two of us too. We found out that W. has cancer and that he's going to need surgery soon.

AUGUST

We headed down to Washington State for the C-Fair horse show, which was a blast! It was a little stressful being so far away and not knowing if W. was going to have to go for surgery right away. This was the only show I made it to this year, and it was a good one. We place in 4 of 6 classes and won one! Our first US show was a success! The rest of the month was a lot of waiting and wondering when W would have the surgery. We were also trying to find out whether we could move into the new place a month early. We also lost Tucker in August which made a very sucky month even sadder.

SEPTEMBER

Sept 1 was W.s surgery. He had 2/3 of his right lung removed and was in the hospital for 8 days. It was a pretty stressful time, but they got all the tumor out and it hadn't spread at all, so he pulled through really well. He was off work for the rest of September, recovering at home. He's doing awsome now - no remaining effects at all! September was also the start of a new season of hockey for me, and for our local CHL team. We have season tickets and go to all the games. This was also our 2nd wedding anniversary.

OCTOBER

We moved in at the end of this month! October was full of house stuff, furniture buying and meeting with lawyers etc. W. started back to work 1/2 time in the middle of the month and did well. We had a big moving party and were in the new house all in one day! It's gorgeous and wonderful and we are so happy there! Our Alberta friends were in town and we did a beautiful fall trail ride.

NOVEMBER

W. is back to work full time and hockey carries on. November was a busy month for me at work. W. starts playing hockey again! Things are right back to normal now. I played a lot of hockey and we had a tournament and the first Christmas event! I love Christmas! We also found our new kitten this month! She's made herself at home with us and we love her!

DECEMBER

More hockey, Christmas decorating and shopping filled December. W. lost another family member this month, one of his close Aunts passed away suddenly. I got stuck out of town for work due to some crazy wind and snow and wasn't able to get home for the service. We had a great Christmas with all of our families and had a well deserved week off between Christmas and New Years. Not enough time though! We need a vacation!!!

So that's 2006. Here's to hoping for a happy, healthy and fun 2007!

I almost blew away

Oh my freaking goodness! When did the WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS get here? I swear, every year time seems to fly by faster and faster. It hardly seems like December's even started, and then, Oh, Hello Christmas. GO AWAY I'M NOT READY FOR YOU YET!

I am so not ready. I have gifts left to buy, I have baking left to do (although keeping in tune with my getting in shape (ha ha ha) strategy, I don't intend to do much baking.

Also, being stranded in the big city for work last week didn't help much. I did manage to start my Christmas shopping, but I wasted a whole night in an airport hotel (a lovely, posh one, mind you) while i waited for the hurricane to cease.

Unfortunately this delay made me miss the funeral of W.'s aunt, which was quite upsetting for me. I had to go to these meetings for work, so I wasn't able to be there for any of it. Part of me is ok with that, but part of me would liked to have at least been there.

She was a lovely lady, although with her problems like anyone else, and she will be missed.

The Moment When I Lost My Mind

I walked out of the gym today and it was snowing. It's still snowing, but that's a bit of a digression. I walked out of the gym today and thought, "Hmmm. It feels a lot warmer out here today."

Did you hear me? IT FEELS A LOT WARMER OUT TODAY. HA HA HA


The temperature today? It's -18 C with a wind-chill factor of -30 C.


Seriously. I'm insane. Take me away, it's time to lock me up. (Can I pick an insane asylum in Mexico? Please?)

I can't feel my fingers

So there is four days left in November and I have only done 18 posts. That leaves me with 12 more to do. That's 3 per day. Ha Ha Ha Ha.

And now I must go outside in the hateful cold to the hateful gym. Blech. If I hadn't eaten chocolate chip coffee cake for breakfast, I would likely skip it so as to not have to venture outside into the MINUS FREAKING 28 WITH THE WIND CHILL cold cold cold cold cold. Hate Hate Hate Hate. Did I mention the hate? and the wind? and the cold? Oh, and the cold?

SNOW!

It snowed yesterday!!! The first snow of the year... my favorite. It started in the morning around 11 and carried on all day until dinner time.

Unfortunately, it appears as if the snow has brought along his not so pretty friend. Sick. I knew it was coming, and today it's here. My head aches and I can't breathe. Coughing, sore throat, sniffling... yuck. Sick sucks.

I've been here less than an hour and I'm already considering going home.

Cold!

I think that Fall is here. I know! I know... September 22 or whatever, but up until this weekend, it's kind of felt like Summer was really never going to end.

But, it finally did and it was perfect.

The air was crisp and cold, with that hint of wood smoke. The leaves were at the perfect stage, most of them still on the trees, but enough on the ground to make a wonderful yellow blanket on the trail. We were bundled up in our fleece and down and gloves and it was wonderful.

We rode for a couple hours. The horses were frisky, and you could see their breath puffing out in front of them. Never an ear dropped - it was cool enough and there was enough of a breeze that they were looking, looking, looking the whole time.

And the wine, oh, the wine. What better way to spend a day than riding a group of gorgeous horses and ending up at a winery for a tasting, and of course a buying, and then riding back home for a yummy fall dinner.

It just doesn't get better than this.

Rainy Days

It's raining today. It's one of those grey, bleary, cool, windy days that makes me feel like curling up inside with a book and a fleecy blanket in a chair by the window. I like to watch the rain. I like the smell and I like the gloomyness. Sometimes, when it's sunny here for weeks or months on end, I wish that it would cloud over and rain. And when it finally does, I'm so disappointed when it ends. I find myself hoping that it goes on and on. There's something about rain that makes me feel happy.

Now I'm not saying that I don't enjoy a good blue sky, sunny, warm day as much as anyone else. It's just that once in a while, a good rain is what we all need.